Using a $100 bill: You have a weirdly sparse condo. A lot of beige in there.
—
What Your Payment Method Reveals About You | The Hairpin
“What your X means about you” is the new “Shit X Say”, in the best possible way.
Nate Smith, Best Dad Ever: The Basketball Diaperies: Nate Smith continues being a jerk to his two-year-old son in his latest Slacktory video.
Course I talk to snakes. Fucking of course. I’ll talk to a snake anytime. Morning time. Dinner time. Always talking to snakes. Know why I didn’t tell you? None of your fucking business is why I never. None of your business, Herminone. Herrrrrrrman. Hermes.
— Drunk Harry Potter, by Mallory Ortberg for Slacktory
(via slacktory)
- Tagged
- Harry Potter
Do you happen to know if there is a time limit on this highlight thing? I was going to highlight a cap of that dickbutt one you highlighted but I used one on my PTSD dog gif and now it won't let me do another one and nobody will answer me and you seem pretty knowledgeable about tumblr things.
I have no fucking clue. They disappeared for me? But other people are still doing them? I’m confused.
Ask an Evil Genie: Talking Cats and Marrying Genies | Slacktory
A new Slacktory column by Meredith Haggerty, creator of the Evil Genie Tumblr. Wish for something in the comments! Next week, the genie will grant the three best wishes.
I’m thrilled to have Meredith contributing to Slacktory. Her writing style is so erudite, so drily witty! Not every Slacktory post can be “top 20 farts”.
“Of course he’s depressed. We’re all depressed. It’s a Depression.”
Girder - a short film by Thomas Leveritt
I assisted on this film! It’s a story of love, betrayal and the construction workers from the 1932 photo “Lunch Atop a Skyscraper”.
I’m so proud of doing the worst push-up ever that I spent a dollar to tell you so.
Really though, don’t call 911 about your push-ups.
Teenagers Have the Craziest Tumblr Usernames
At least, I’m assuming these people are teenagers. Here are some favorites from that list:
There are about 15 more where that came from. Feel free to reblog and share any weird ones you’ve seen.
My god, it’s full of puns
