Kaspar and Canning: My favorite episode
I wrote a web show about a San Francisco detective agency. I want to make it, but I need a cast, crew, and sponsor. Here’s my favorite episode.
If you want to help me make this, e-mail me at nick@toomuchnick.com. I have 15 episodes so far.
EPISODE 4: THE OFFICE SENDS OUT FOR LUNCH
The office, with LES, JARED, COLE, and RUBY. Les walks
around with a sheet of paper and a camera.
LES
Cole? What do you want for lunch?
We’re getting everyone some Indian.
JARED
We’re outsourcing?
COLE
You’re buying lunch?
LES
It comes out of your pay.
COLE
I haven’t gotten paid yet.
LES
And you never will at this rate,
fatass. What’re you having?
COLE
Cup of soup.
LES
What kind?
COLE
Whatever they have.
LES
Ruby?
RUBY
I’m a vegan so palak paneer.
LES
That has cheese.
RUBY
But no meat.
LES
Then you’re not vegan. You’re
vegetarian.
RUBY
I prefer “vegan.”
LES
You’re not—palak paneer. To drink?
RUBY
Mango lassi.
LES
Right. Jared?
JARED
Chhhhhhhhsssssssssssss….
LES
Chicken?
JARED
sssssssschhhhhhhhhkkkkkkkkkchickkkk
ennnnnnnn…
Tsssssssssssaaaeeeeeiiiiiiii…
LES
Tikka masala? Chicken tikka masala?
JARED
kkkkkkkaaaaaaaa…
LES
Masala.
JARED
mmmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaa…
LES
Sala.
JARED
ssssssaaaaaaaa…
LES
You don’t like masala.
JARED
llllllllaaaaaa.
LES
Jared. You don’t like masala.
JARED
Lamb curry.
Les walks to the window. A bum, HANK, is sitting on
LES
Hank! Got a job for you. Take this
to Chutney Hut. There’s a cup of
soup in the order for you.
HANK
What kind?
LES
Whatever they have.
